Pope John Paul dies of old age and finds himself at the gates of Heaven at 0300. He knocks on the gate and a
very sleepy-eyed watchman opens the gate and asks, "Wadda you want?"

"I'm the recently deceased Pope and have done 63 years of Godly works and thought I should check in here."

The watchman checks his clipboard and says, "I ain't got no orders for you here, just bring your stuff and
we'll sort this out in the morning."

They go to an old WWII barracks, 3rd floor, open bay. All the bottom racks are taken and all empty lockers
have no doors. The Pope stows his gear under a rack and climbs into an upper bunk. The next morning he
awakens to sounds of cheering and clapping. He goes to the window and sees a flashy Jaguar convertible
parading down the clouds from the golden headquarters building.  The cloudwalks are lined with saints and
angels cheering and tossing confetti. In the back seat sits a Navy Chief, his Surface Warfare pin glistening on
his chest, a cigar in his mouth, a can of San Miguel in one hand, and his other arm around a voluptuous blonde
Angel with  magnificent halos.

This disturbs the Pope and he runs downstairs to the Master-at-Arms shack and says, "Hey, what gives? You
put me, the Pope with 63 years of Godly deeds, in an open bay barracks, while this Chief who must've
committed every sin known and unknown to man is staying in a mansion on the hill and getting a hero's welcome.
How can this be?"

The Master at Arms calmly looks up and says, "We get a Pope up here every 20 or 30 years, but we've never
had a Navy Chief before"

THE ULTIMATE "YORKTOWN SEA STORY"

    Did you hear about the new recruit that reported for duty to the USS Yorktown. The Captain was upset by the old salts telling all these sea stories and the new strikers telling sea stories. It took too much time away from the work of running an aircraft carrier.

 So the Captain tells the new guys on the ship. "I've discovered that every sea story has been told before by someone. All they do is change the names and dates. So I've put every possible sea story into this book and put a number on each sea story."

    The Yorktown skipper then ordered, "when you feel the need to tell a Sea Story, don't stop working, just call out the NUMBER of the Sea Story. The other Yorktown sailors will read it and then laugh and we all save precious time."

    The first day on the Yorktown, the sailor hears a distant sailor call out "Number fifty two." Then there is silence and then everyone one board the ship laughs! But very little time is wasted on telling the sea story.

    This happens several times and the sailor hears the number called out and then silence and then everyone on board laughs.

    So the new sailor is chipping paint and feels the urge to tell a sea story. He looks into the Yorktown Sea Story book and calls out a number "79". He waits but nobody laughs.

    He looks into the book again "Sea Story Number One Thousand Fifty Twoooooooo" He waits. Nobody laughs.

    The new sailor sees the Captain in a passageway and says "Captain, I called out a number and nobody laughed. I called out a new Sea Story Number and still nobody laughed!"

    The Captain puts his arm around the sailors shoulder and says "Son, some people just don't know how to tell a joke."